I find American politics to be quite fascinating, so I decided to watch the debate among the Democratic presidential hopefuls on YouTube. It's interesting how they are asked questions that range in terms of difficulty and complexity - all the questions are asked by people who post videos of their question on YouTube. Some of the presidential hopefuls give direct answers, while others choose to dilly-dally and sidestep certain questions. It's a fun watch (if you're weird like me).
YouTube Debate
The other thing that I like about the debate is the fact that they are not at all offended or insulted by being asked such questions. In fact, they expect such questions, some of which are 'sensitive' or politically-charged, to be posed to them. While they may not always give satisfactory answers, I like that they are willing to participate in such an open debate in the first place.
I'm not saying that their system is perfect. Sometimes they take their overtness to the extreme. But I guess I believe that it is more acceptable than to be totally unaccountable for their actions, and to be immune from criticism, no matter how constructive it is. The Americans, imperfect as their system may be, still practice a truer form a democracy where public opinion can shape the political landscape; not the other way around.
I do not think that absolute freedom of speech or expression is such a great idea. But then again, the absolute opposite is actually scarier. A balance should be achieved, of course, but the balance should be in much more in favor of freedom of speech. To balance it otherwise would be draconian (or perhaps I'm just liberal that way). But yea, that's what I think.
So, yeah. Watch the debate! It's... uh... I wouldn't say fun; but it's interesting to watch if you have nothing else to do.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
YouTube Debate, Because I'm Bored.
Monday, July 23, 2007
In the Eyes of the World
I love my country, but I dislike the people who run it.
Yes, they are two different things, not one and the same.
I don't think certain people know the true meaning of democracy.
People can criticize the US, but at least they practice a truer form of democracy (at least in their country, not the places they invade).
Here democracy is just a word to throw around, a concept and nothing more.
It is sand to throw in the eyes of the world to distract them from our flaws, our inequities.
We are a democratic country! I don't think you even know what democracy really is.
Or freedom.
I want, most of all, to be able to love my country unequivocally.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Vice or Virtue?
Okay, here's the deal. I am hopelessly addicted to fantasy books. I love fantasy books; I love all fantasy sub-genres. I love them so much that they are the main reason why I am broke all the time.
This is how many books I've read(except for one) over my summer break so far:
That's TWENTY books in total that I've read. Most of them were purchased here; I brought back a handful from the US.
For comparison; two 1.5L water bottles:
The angle is a bit inaccurate - the pile is actually slightly taller than the two water bottles.
I am beginning to think that my interest in reading has become a vice. I can't sleep at night unless I've done some reading. If I tried to sleep without reading beforehand, I would just lie there with my eyes wide open.
Sometimes it is enough for me to crawl out of bed to switch on the lamp by my bed so I can do a bit of reading in order to induce sleepiness. Not that the act of reading makes me sleepy; I think my body has been conditioned to obey a certain chain of actions. Climb in bed, read, sleep.
If, for some reason, I attempt to skip the part about reading (because I am tired/I don't have any new books to read/I just want some sleep dammit), the next item in the chain of events will never occur. Therefore, I won't fall asleep.
I really love to read. I honestly do. But sometimes I just want to sleep without having to subject myself to reading. I may love it, but there are nights when I don't want to get so absorbed in reading that I only get 3-4 hours of sleep. There are nights when I want to fall asleep before the sun is up.
My weakness, as far as I know, is that when I read a book, I'd become too involved, too desperate to know what happens next. It is a feeling of breathlessness, of realizing that I care about the story and its characters. And it keeps me awake. My mind stubbornly wants to know more through the act of reading, and yet the act of reading is what my body needs to become sleepy.
So, basically, I can either NOT read a book and stare into the darkness of my room for hours on end, or read a book and most probably end up awake for at least half the night anyway. Either way, I suffer from lack of sleep.
The only time when this isn't the case is when I'm extremely exhausted mentally. Like, for example, right after studying for a big exam. I will still need to read before I can fall asleep, but my mind won't be strong enough to force itself awake for too long.
I wonder if my addiction to books is getting out of hand. Has it crossed the line which separates vice from virtue? I really don't know. All I know is that I will still keep on reading. Sometimes people wonder why I'm so lethargic during the day; this is why. My mind is most active during the night, when I am lying on my bed reading a book.
I would like to think that my love for books is still a virtue. But at this point, I can't be too sure.
p.s. : On a side note, I felt more inept than usual during the writing of this post. Usually words and sentences come easily to me, but this time I felt like I had to force each line out, and even then they seemed either forced or awkward. I also had to edit a number of sentences because of a 'wait, that's not right' feeling. Oh well, I hope that I still got my point across, even though I'm unhappy with my writing in this post. :(
The Dark Lord of Air-Conditioners
Zomg my air-conditioner is so annoyingly NOISY!
It's noisy enough that I get a headache after listening to its noise for awhile.
Banging it with my fist firmly (but not violently) worked at first - it would be a lot more silent for awhile. Unfortunately, the evil noise cannot be silenced permanently.
Now, apparently, it has evolved into a higher level of being that is able to produce much louder noises which cannot be silenced by my fist of vengeance. BUT the noise tends to go away on its own after awhile, which is a huge relief. On the other hand, I have to wait until it goes quiet again on its own, which sucks out loud with loud sucking noises. :(
Oh, and I can't set the fan speed to 'auto', because it makes the air-cond stop working. It'll just go off as if I'd pressed the power button. So I either have to set it to low(which is sometimes not strong enough), medium(which may or may not be too cold or too warm), or strong(which turns my room into a freezer), and hope that the temperature doesn't get too high or low for my tastes.
AND because ALL the air-conditioners for each room upstairs share the same single air-cond remote which must be placed in the upstairs common/tv area after anyone uses it, it's tedious for me to have to go out and grab the remote to change the fan speed whenever the temperature makes me uncomfortable.
SIGH.
Monday, July 09, 2007
A Sea Change
I'm not sure why I bother to read newspapers nowadays - particularly the sections that deal with Malaysia.
I'm pretty sure I'm not the first(or even the 12,819th) person to have said this, but I am seriously afraid of what is happening in this country.
There is, of course, the much-publicized case (both domestically and internationally) of Lina Joy, not to mention the case of Revathi Massosai, which both deal with the lack of religious freedom in the country. I'm sure you've all read about the JAIP incident too, which is only the latest in a string of many more such alarming actions by the religious authorities.
Another thing that bothers me deeply is the ease of which Malaysians, particularly those in power, are offended. The hoopla surrounding the comments of the ambassador and head of the European Commission Delegation to Malaysia, Thierry Rommel is one such example. The people in power also feel as if they are above criticism and allegations, and are not meant to be questioned. Bodoh, right?
The mainstream media here don't get much slack too, not to mention prominent bloggers. Our PM demonstrated the art of passive-aggressive, veiled threats while thanking the media. The Information Minister had also demonstrated that same ability(perhaps not as adeptly) by saying that few people read blogs, and that we should not base our beliefs on blogs.
Forgive me if I'm a bit cynical about the whole '50th Merdeka Anniversary', because as far as I'm concerned it just marks the 50th year of existence for this country. I am indeed grateful for all that I have, and all that I have been able to enjoy as a citizen of this free country. But somehow I wish that it could be more.
What I think is more important is the question of what the country has achieved in that 50 years of existence; politically, economically, morally, and intellectually. That, and what will happen after the 50-year mark. Will the celebration of pomp and grandeur signal renewed hope in the future development of the nation, or will it just mark the passing of 50 years of existence, and nothing more?
While the country has undoubtedly improved in many ways, it has, in my opinion, worsened in other aspects. But I believe, some would say irrationally(as I do), that it is not impossible for a sea change for the better to come about in the country.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Question
For the past few days, I've been toying with the idea of closing this blog down.
I know that I probably won't, because I value it too much, but recent developments have made me realize that I have to reevaluate why I still want to blog, who I'm blogging for, and whether it's worth it.
I used to blog for myself. I'd write honestly about how I felt, why I felt that way, my hopes and dreams for the future, etc. There were no pictures, only feelings and actions recorded in my usually uncensored and uneditted posts. No one read it, so there was no need for me to hold back. So I wrote angrily, passionately, excitedly; objectivity had not been a goal for me back then. Even I cringe - quite often - at some of my older, extremely angst-filled posts. Well, not that I don't write them anymore nowadays; I would just like to think that the frequency has gone down.
But I have readers now. Not a large audience - probably a handful of regulars, at the most - but an audience nonetheless. And it includes people whom I'm not sure I really want to read how I feel or think sometimes. It is enough for me to hold back from posting more often than not, especially if I'm in the mood to write about frustrations.
Looking back, I can tell that I wrote less when I was happy and more when I wasn't. I used to write here whenever I was unhappy or angry about something and wanted to express my emotions, which I think has made me seem like a terribly ugly and nasty individual. Maybe I AM such a person; I don't know. But unless I start posting an equal number of happy clappy posts, there's no chance at all that someone who doesn't know me well would perceive me in a good way.
All I know is that this business of holding back from posting is unhealthy for me. If I don't write about my frustratios or problems here, I internalize the negative sentiment. I'd rather express it here to 'discharge' the bad feelings, so to speak, so that it won't shadow me in my daily life. Otherwise it'll just linger closer to the surface than usual, since I won't have the opportunity to let it all out here. Writing here was, and still is, a release for me.
Things have definitely changed since I started writing.
I guess another idea that I've been considering is converting this blog to a totally 'public' one by deleting some of my more 'sensitive' posts, in addition to only posting 'safe' stuff here. But that would suck, and while it is the easier and less drastic road, it is not a road I want to traverse. What would I write about then? "Omg I had chicken rice and iced lemon tea for lunch, and it was so nice! I'm so happy! Hehe! Then I went to MPH and bought a book which I've been eyeing for AGES! Happy! But then on the way back I got stuck in a traffic jam and it ruined my day la omg I am so pissed!!!" I hate blogs that are entirely about detailing a person's daily life from A-Z, like what they ate that day, what they wore that day, who they went out with, etc. Unfortunately, most of my more recent posts have been like that.
I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with this blog. I'll try to post as usual while I'm still deciding, though.
Note: What do you guys think? I'd really like to hear your opinion on this. Well, more like I want you to say what I really want to hear regarding this, but eh, try to be honest anyway.
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