This is your life, are you who you want to be...

I know, I know, I haven't written much lately. Not that... I don't want to write anything, but so far.. I haven't really had anything that I want to write about. Heh.

This is your life, are you who you want to be

Switchfoot sang that. And, to me, it is a question very much worth asking. Am I who I want to be, today, right now, at this very moment?

Well...no. Not really.

I think there's something very wrong with me because I can't appreciate what I have. I have enough money. I'm doing great academically. Things are.. fine. Yet there's always that little something that you can't seem to grasp, and you don't even know what it is.

But I do know what my problem is. It's that I've never in my entire life been completely acknowledged.

I would acknowledge my best friends.. as my best friends, but some of them would not do the same for me. I have done everything.. everything... that a friend is supposed to do, but I have not entirely received the same in return.

My parents never acknowledge me for who I really am, or for whatever I've done, and they certainly haven't acknowledged me as the person I've become. I will, at least to them, always be the youngest son, the one who throws tantrums when I don't get my way, as opposed to being justifiably angry life 'adults'.

I can't be who I want to be until I'm acknowledged for it. For aren't we only as great as how much the world would acknowledge our greatness?

We do not do things only for ourselves. People do seek approval from the people around them. At least I do.

But I would never come right out and ask them, say, 'do you think that I'm your best friend?' because I'd rather have them tell me sincerely and honestly, as if it were a great treasure that they wish to share with me - as opposed to telling me what I want to hear simply because I asked.

Am I doing something wrong? I wish someone would tell me. I don't know what else I need to do to be acknowledged. I don't know. I just don't know.

I don't want to keep doing the same old mistakes, simply because I don't know what mistakes I've been making.

This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

No. Not at all.

Because today I dream more than I ever did when I was young.

And it isn't everything that I dreamed it would be.

Read on...

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Bored and all

Say hello to this delayed entry :P I haven't updated my blog for awhile... so.. yeah. Here's the latest stuff. First, silly stuff your friends ask you to answer in their blog:

Total volume of music files on my computer:
Less than 500MB. I don't have any P2P programs installed, and.. yeah :P

The last CD I bought:
Michael Buble - It's Time. And it wasn't even for me :p

Songs playing right now:
Everything Burns - Ben Moody and Anastacia

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:

1. Dare You To Move - Switchfoot (It's great, and extremely uplifting)
2. Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carlisle (Unashamedly sentimental. Touching)
3. Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield (Another uplifting song :)
4. My Immortal - Evanescence (Simply beautiful)
5. Solitaire - Clay Aiken (Another beautiful song. His voice just blows me away. I just wish I had his voice :P)

Anyway, yeah. I'm not passing this baton to anyone, but that's only because no one actually reads my blog :p Heh. But I do love the privacy of it... I get to say things that I wouldn't be able to say if more of my friends were to read this. So.. yeah.

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So, on to non-baton passing stuff. Hm. My finals are on. I'm so glad that this semester is almost over. It was fun, definitely, but I just want a break. It seems that I've been going out so much.. and.. yeah. I want a break. I always want a break, but this time I deserve it :P

I hate the Malaysian mega sale, but only because it makes me poor. I NEED TO SHOP (AGAIN). Haha. My allowance is a casualty in this war. :P Heheh. Anyway.. yeah.

I don't have anything that I need to say at the moment.. so.. will stop for now. I'll have a longer post soon, but no guarantees.

Ciao :)

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